I don’t want to beat a dead horse here, but I have discovered the ultimate meaning of ‘you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til its gone”… I can’t seem to get over this not drinking thing. The not smoking? Not nearly as bad. But, no wine, no martini, no nothin’- ridiculously hard. And I’ll tell you why.
A drink is a signal. A signal for the end of the day, a signal that its Friday and the weekend has begun, a signal that you’ve accomplished so much that your back is sore and your feet hurt, a signal that there is something fabulous to celebrate, a signal that it’s the end of the night - it’s a signal for what ever we choose it to be. That’s it. It’s not brain surgery or rocket science.
Imagine this- we go about a busy day. We complete the tasks we so eagerly set out to accomplish, and as per usual the day slips by before we know it. We are pooped, flat out exhausted and can’t wait to put our feet up and have a glass of wine – see? A drink signal for pencils down, time’s up, the day is over. Ahhhh… and that little glass of wine tastes great. It makes sure that we realize that there is nothing left to do from here other than relax, watch a little news, maybe catch up on some personal things, eat dinner and go to bed so we can do it all again tomorrow.
Imagine that we rinse and repeat this cycle throughout the long week- day in day out. Complete tasks, accomplish much, be ridiculously tired, and countdown to the weekend. And then it arrives. It’s Friday, its after five PM – YEAH! And it has been such a long week that you can’t remember what your crisis was on Monday, let alone the fact that you forgot your spouse’s name on Tuesday, your own name on Wednesday, and maybe for kicks your wallet on top of your car on Thursday. The week is over- it’s nothing but sunny skies and calm seas for the next two days and to celebrate you decide to step it up with maybe something in a fancy glass that comes with it’s own appetizer (read: olives)… or better yet (and if you are my husband) it is something that comes in a very simple small glass with ice and you can barely see through amber colored liquid named after a guy with two first names. But that’s not the point, the point is this drink is a signal that you can put the week behind you and each little sip will wash away just the last little bit of hectic residue from the week. Ahhh… and the weekend begins.
Now imagine any of these scenarios without the end of day drink- we complete tasks we set out eagerly to accomplish, we run around like a chicken with our head cut off, we scramble to get through the nitty gritty minutiae of the day, and before we know it its 5 pm we are pooped, and as always we still wonder where the day goes – it’s over and it is time to relax. (Of course, please feel free to insert your own work hours here)
But wait…. Is the day really over? I can stop trying to cross things off my to do list? But where is my signal? Isn’t there something that tells me to stop, put my feet up and relax for the evening? It’s gone!! Someone stole my signal!!! (In this case it happens to be my husband as he is the one that “put” me in my current situation ☺) Without it the day actually doesn’t seem to stop, instead it seems to keep going. It is this swirling abyss of to-do lists: dinner, to make, vacuum the 2nd floor, oh and I need to change the laundry over, and there are a few emails I should send to try and free up some time for tomorrow or another day in the week. My brain keeps going and going. There isn’t anything to help me make that end of day mental decision to put everything down because it can all wait. Put my feet up because it will all get done, it always does. To take a deep breathe and look up at the stars, hug my husband, play with the dog, watch Jeopardy and try scream the answers at the contestants (because they can clearly hear you if you just yell the answers to them), and anything other than what is on that damn list.
I get it now. I get the whole kit and kaboodle, how reliant we become on certain things to direct the way we live and act. I am learning a precious lesson here, and I plan to take my new found wisdom to the streets. O.K. – maybe not to the streets, I really have very little time as it is. But I see how hard it is to create for ourselves new paradigms. This 'no consumption' thing really isn’t medically based (I know – that’s a joke, just bear with me) it is a process of removing every single one of our vices forcing us to re-asses our priorities, our motus operandi. Someone up there (or inside me) is whispering, “Little cricket listen to the frog he has wisdom to share” – and reminds me that having children is all about flexibility. Duh right? I'm flex, I am so flex I can bend in a breeze. Sure, I know. But do we REALLY know how to be flexible? Resourceful? This test is about needing to learn new tricks, and in order to do it we have to start from scratch. And starting from scratch includes removing all previously known crutches and learning to walk on our own again, relearning how to accomplish twice the amount of daily tasks, be dead dog tired and still somehow manage to find calm, enjoyment, love, contentment, and relaxation.
Whew… this is what it is going to be like having kids? Yikes – I could really use a drink.
